It's strange to think that we've known each other for a year now. I don't think i could have ever guessed that you would still be around in my life. I still remember vividly the first time I talked to you, and the first time i met you. At the subway. Looking BUSTED from cheerleading practice. I think its safe to say that it was a little awkward. but definitely the start of something unforgettable. We've had our share of interesting experiences, but we always managed to get a good laugh out of them.
I don't think i've ever truly said how much you mean to me. In a way, you are the big brother i never had. Which coming from my background means the world to me. Growing up, I was always the odd one out, with my older brother picking my younger brother over me time after time. I never knew any differently that that wasn't ok. Until i met you. You showed me what it was to have a mentor, someone who i could look up to. To know that there was someone i could go to, that cared about things i did. I've never had someone like that before. I can say you are the only person i can call and know no matter what stupid thing ive done, you won't care and on top of that, you'll give me the best advice.
This past semester, my older brother really tried to make ammends for past behavior. But i think there comes a point where differences are so extreme that its so hard to over come them. I think that that's what happened with my older brother and I. Part of me wants to accept his invitation to be more involved in my life, but the other part says why bother. I know when i tell him about me, he probably won't accept it anyways and just play the religion card and be done with it. I can't know that this is will be the truth, but I can't help but let my mind jump to that conclusion.
You bring out a different side of me. You've showed me its ok to have fun, and be a little irresponsible; something that was always so hard for me to do. I see the things you do and the manner in which you do them. And i know you don't think anything of it, but i look up to the way you do things. I think the thing i admire most about you is your ability to make people laugh. Every time i talk to you, you have the ability to make my day better; something I am so grateful for. It doesn't matter if i've had the best day ever, if i call you and tell you about it somehow you seem to make it just a little better; and with the worst days ever, you seem to know how to get my mind off whatever has made it so bad. I think sometimes you kinda let yourself think that you're nothing special and there is nothing exceptional about you, but I think you should know that i couldn't disagree more. You've taught me more than you could ever imagine about things i probably never would have considered important.
I wrote a post recently about you, Michael, and dave: "Friday night, Nick Michael and Dave came up to Athens for the Pastel party. It was beyond fun. Something just feels so right about hanging out with the four of them. We haven't got to hang out alot together, but i think thats why I'm so excited for this summer. I know when the four of us get together, we can just go out for a good time. And have no drama. I dont think they know how much their friendship means to me, especially Nick. He is the big brother i never had. or have....but never talk to. He is the one person i can go to for anything and know i can get his opinion without him thinking anything different of me. A friend like that is so hard to come by. "
I know you will say I'm being stupid when i say this, but i think after a lot of thinking I don't think that UGA isn't really the place for me. Obviously i have friends, but not great friends. I think alot of the time i'm kinda just a floater between friends. I look at you, who has so many friends, and always strive to learn from how you do it. I think even you will admit that you are good at making, and keeping, friends. yet another quality of yours i admire. I don't really fit in to a set group of people here, which i think makes it kinda hard for me. Clearly I'm no frat star, and i'm obvi no super genius. I like to think I'm no flamer, but i'm no jock either. That may be the one thing i admire the most, is your group of friends. I see how happy they make you. And that is one of the best things in the world to see. That's something that i still need to work, because as of now, i don't think i have that. Now clearly I'm not going to do anything rash and drop out of school or anything, but i can't help but think about what would be differently if i went to school somewhere else, where i would fit in better.
This semester has been such a struggle for me. I feel more lost now than ever. I don't know if im good enough for med school. And as always, you were there to help me through it. So thanks.
Like i said. You mean more than you could ever know to me. And i think that everyone deserves to know how special they are. I guess i just wanted to say thanks. Thanks for taking the time to worry about the troubles of a 19 year old. Lately, i feel like i've been a bit bothersome and i hope you can excuse me for that. I never mean to come across as clingy and needy, but like i said, you are my go to guy.
So hey, thanks to the best one year of friendship i could have ever asked for. You truly are uNique. And i wouldn't trade you for the world. Just don't forget about some busted 19 year old in Athens :)
Love,
Your one and only Gossip Girl
XOXO
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