Winston and I are done. And, in true fashion, im kind of indifferent to the whole situation. I think that dating him helped me to figure out alot about myself, which i am really greatful for. Things that i didnt know were true, or that i didnt realize before. I realized that I'm kind of a selfish person. I have a hard time putting others in front of myself. Maybe its a good thing that having kids isnt really an option for me haha.
This week has been kinda crazy. I haven't felt good about myself at all. I think this is the first time in my life that I've felt truly unhealthy. Like including appearance and weight. I can't help but think that alot of this unhealthiness started with Winston, academically at first. I was a little slack in the beginning when it came to hanging out with him or doing schoolwork. And I usually chose him. Which in hindsight, was a bad decision. But i enjoyed his company. I believe that that was the beginning of the bad decisions. A snowball effect, if you will.
Today, I'm stopping that snowball. A promise to myself. I'm gonna get back on track. Exercise. Eat better. Study hard till the end of school. Just be a healthy person. Making healthy decisions. What is more is that it is written down. This may be the first time i've written down a promise to myself to be honest. Its a scary thing. Writing down this promise in this journal is going to make me follow it. Which is what i need. A kick in the ass.
School wasnt a priority this semester like it was last semester. I guess the real question is is what consequences that will have down the road. I don't regret not making school a priority this semester, i think it was my time to kinda let loose and slack off a little.
"Something is not a waste of time if knowledge can be attained from it."
A mantra to live by. By me.
I think I'm Back! and better than before.
